There really is a bear in there!

When you last heard from us, we were just about to head up to Queensland for our first scan. Everyone had a little touch of the nerves at some stage prior, but on the day everything went so well! It was amazing to see a little wriggly bean in there! And it had a heartbeat! Crazy times! I’m going to be a mum to this little jellybean!!!

The scan was fantastic. It made things feel a bit more real for us; but by far the highlight of the trip was getting to hang out with Rachel’s family. I’m starting to feel a little too at home with them, much to our husbands’ mutual dismay, as it’s getting harder and harder to pry the wifey’s away from each other!

Seeing Rachel quelled a lot of the morning sickness related guilts that I wrote about in my last post. I’m not sure why, but having those few days where I could give her pats and show some love felt like it was something that needed to happen in person before I’d feel ok within myself. I hadn’t seen her in person since transfer, so since so much had happened between then and now, I felt like a part of me wasn’t sitting right until we were reunited.

In other news, David’s parents are visiting from overseas. Even though we’ll wait until after our 12 week scan to tell the general populous, we’d like to take the opportunity to tell our parents while they’re all here together in person. So that’s happening tomorrow night when we all go out for dinner! I printed off some ultrasound pics to hand around so that they can do the talking for us.

Rachel even went out of her way to get another scan just before they came, so that we can show them a clearer picture of Bear! What an absolute sweetheart. She even sent us a video of the ultrasound! David and I were both at home the day she sent them. We huddled around the screen watching the video again and again. It was a really special day, even though we weren’t there with Rachel, it felt as though we were all together.

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Roar!

Anywho, fast forward a few weeks and Rach will have her first hospital appointment! Some might call it overkill, but I really want to be there to take her to things whenever possible and I’ll be damned if living interstate will stop me. I know that the likelihood of us being able to be there for everything is slim (already we haven’t been there for everything), but I don’t want her to miss out on all of the things she’d have with a same-state surrogacy. David will have to hang around here this time because his parents are still around, so it’ll be me flying solo for this one! I’m pretty darn excited 😀 though the idea of me taking Rachel backfired when she insisted on picking me up from the airport!

In other news, I’ve been to see my counsellor recently for a mental health checkup. I make a habit of doing so whenever anxiety surfaces to the point of being uncomfortable for prolonged periods of time. I am quite prone to anxiety, so went to visit the counsellor to see if there was any underlying cause for concern, surrogacy related or otherwise. Anywho, I am pleased to report that all is well on that front. She did suggest that I cut back my online commitments though, which I have done, and is one of the reasons this blog post is a bit tardy! So if you see less of me online, now you know why 🙂

Anxiety is a part of who I am, and so it’s my responsibility to ensure that I keep on top of it to keep our team swimming along awesomely. My reason for writing about it here is to encourage everyone who is predisposed to any sort of mental health issue, transient or recurring, to have a solid plan in place for if and when you find yourself feeling unbalanced. Your surrogacy team doesn’t need any additional stress on top of their current undertakings, and it’s up to you to ensure you are accountable for your own mental health.

Until next time! Peace out 🙂

2 thoughts on “There really is a bear in there!

  1. Hello Mariam,
    Oh my goodness that is such awesome news indeed. When you wrote the words ” I’m going to be a mum” my heart melted with happiness for you all.
    So great you and Rachel have a wonderful friendship and are able to share these exyra special moments together.
    I undetstand your words about anxiety and it seems you are well aware and have things under control.
    I have just read another one of your posts on a replly and saw you are 10 weeks pregnant.
    Woo hoo that is such super dooper news.
    Best of luck in all of what is to come ♡ X ♡

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